花言花语

2011-11-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

she~

she always talk about people's weakness and forget about own self.

she always too sensitive and pointing fingers that people never respect her.

she always assume that what she think is correct but not others.

she always think that herself is the most busiest person in the world but not others.

she always like to complain.

she said she is very tame, but she did show her temper to everyone?

please think about your own self before pointing fingers on other person. No one is 100 percent correct but not you too~

she always disturb me while i want to watch drama

she herself watch drama and it is fine

she always control people not to talk loudly...but when she high high dei, she can talk as loud as she can

i am ok to speak english, but how about others? yes, people are trying to joke with you, but why not you take it as a challenge to just learn it?

Is it so difficult to just learn but not to complain?

yes, it is not comfortable...but me and you are different...when it is freaking hard, i will try my best to freaking understand it, although the language is an UFO language for me

she~ complain, always tot she is 100 percent correct, comment about people living style, but her living style is perfect fine good...awesome!

can't she just keep the thing to her but not complaining in my ears...i don't like to observe people weakness but i like to remember how awesome the person is!

2011-11-24T14:42:00.001+08:00

也许我太仲意你直到对你的要求比任何人还高？！

我想，我应该放弃仲意你，我越给机会，我越失望。我越想这样，就会变那样。

我要把它埋葬，不要看，不要想，忘掉那一份仲意，就不会那么的辛苦。

放过我，仲意不要粘着我，那时曾经的仲意，现在，我很想丢掉这份仲意。

垃圾车快点来。帮我把仲意倒掉！

我要过另一个新的生活。不要来烦我！

我画，用力的画休止符！句号！

Deutsch

2011-10-28T09:41:00.000+08:00

i feel very funny when

i heard the Deutsch 1 people said...

ich brauche gehen...

i need to go if we uebersetzen it to english...

so LOL...wonder if i did this mistake when i was in Deutsch 1...

Look back to the pass, i really improve quite a bit although i am not yet at the level of Deutsch 5...but at least...i can still speak a better one...

Toi Toi Toi fuer meine Muenliche Pruefung!

LOL!!!

bored!

2011-10-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

don't spend your life to impressed people around you, but do what you like...

impressed? not to impress....what i like? what i don't like? money? job? future prospect? music?
simple...i like music...talent? where is it? miss piano, miss violin...but i don't know how to help myself:(

job...good job...flexible timing...normal ok pay...no future prospect but i had a great time of having fun to learn this freaking awesome language, German!!! but money, no money...pay loan...buy iphone...all gone...

i like music...i tried all the best i can to indulge myself...first: go thai music! play this awesome ragnat ek lek! altho is an accompaniment instrument...second: try very hard to have ensemble with friend, but very hard makes me very tired...bcos the place is freaking far...ang moh kio..so i decided not to be crazy...third, i taught choir...although i told myself it is a simple one...but i found the joy...altho i m not really doing that great, tat SMART on show...but i m trying to make myself happy, may be make my parents proud a little for embedding these musical cells into my body since i was 4...they spend may be few hundred Ks for my music educations.

earn money...strategy : go teach tuition...but i kind of bored! i feel no challenge in tuition...me student never listen to me teach, so how? teach take money, spend!

what i have bought:
1. die Festplatte (1 Tera)
2. die Uhr (Casio)
3. die Kamera Tasche
4. ein paar Kleid
5. ein Buch heisst hatten wir uns die Jahren eine Frau verlieben...(duno correct or not)
....
later on will have
6. iphone!!!

big spender! i found no fun to just earn money but when spending is great? but beside shopping what can i do in order not to make myself so bored?

how eh how eh....not yet graduate, hope to graduate, after graduate what is my aim huh? Wo ist mein Ziel?

Mum said because i have no bf, so i am bored...when i request to go home, they are not allowed...first time, my mum not allow...birthday is so important to celebrate at hometown beside of this stranger place although i have fun by singing k for all the day...but i feel meaningless, boring and i force myself to be happy, to smile to laugh...there is no place like home

2nd, I want to go back for CNY...i have so many days of leave and my boss told me off not to take leave on CNY...LOL... ridiculous..but it make sense because the freaking busy NUS is still having term time...a lot of preparation for teaching materials is needed. so wat? cannot go home again loh...

When i reach home, i feel singapore better, because at home i have a sister who always makes us like enermy and strangers...zomok? why she is like this? can she cooperate? i even lose my room lose my favourite doll, all the cutie thgy i like...she duno help me to throw to where...as if the room is all belongs to her...but not a single bed, a single doll or a single softtoy is belong to me?! but all is mine though when i was a teenager...yea
when was it? teenager? 10 yrs ago? when she was in UNI?

So, Klang become not a home for me, singapore definitely not a home for me...then where is my home? don't tell me Deutschland? the place where no bah kut teh, no rice? i will die? sometimes, i doubt if i really want to go there and live...

bla things out is fun...may be needs a bf...but i think too much...bf good kah? later he makes my decision runtuh cannot hold stiff can't go Germany because i don't want to have a long distance love? is it? is it?

How do i know?

SO many i don't know makes my life so bored...useless me...shameless me...23 yrs old but do nothing...

BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD...shout out loud!

没有facebook & 没有工作的日子

2011-07-29T19:16:00.001+08:00

郁闷，烦躁？
太空闲？
吃喝拉撒睡？样样做齐
花钱像喝水
有家归不得？
睡醒看着电脑，抢先观看韩剧
没人看过的也看，看过了的再看。
小提琴，拉腻
没有钱，没有导师。

这是要怎样？

facebook 遭害客入侵！整个profile 被盗走！

停！！！喊停！！！整个给终止吧！

希望我的下周一会是蓝色的。我要蓝色星期一，因为没有工作的日子实在难熬！

快快快快！

我的重新出发

2011-06-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

这是我第一次坐在这里写文章。
环境，人，事，物已经大大的不同。
我的人生求学的阶段应该算是正式的结束。来到这个现实社会，在一个月里长大了不少。
从找房子，到困难重重找室友，亲自安装网站到购买家里的日常用品，电风扇，都是我和玉倩在打点。有时觉得其实不用做那么多，自然有人会帮。可是因为责任感太重也自然而然的打点了，要不然每个晚上都会睡得不安稳。为什么其他室友都不会当那些问题是一件事，而我却忙到连跟妈妈skype，也会觉得烦，脾气不好。算了吧，还是别计较，阿弥陀佛。爸爸妈妈对不起。

其实我很满意现在这个房子，虽然第一个月份开销可真不少。但万事起头难，有了爸爸妈妈的财力支柱应该也不会有太大的问题。我庆幸在还没有毕业之前已经找到了工作。我那烂到不敢见人的成绩，竟然教授会要我帮他做研究。也太妙了吧。感恩阿弥陀佛的保佑。

虽然我仍然没有安全感，时常会心烦，找工作。新加坡很现实，成绩要好，要是新加坡公民/PR才能顺利得到工作。那天，到了观音亭去求签，签里说我遇仙，得到佛菩萨的保佑。四方平稳。我才真正睡了个好觉。把放在身上许久的重担放了下来。

我的未来。我要把我失去的重新学回来。爱~音乐，可是现在没钱去爱。
希望每一天都能幸福，开心，满足，阿弥陀佛。

Don't assume you understand me well!!!!

2011-02-22T14:43:00.002+08:00

Can you gimme time to explain...so that you understand me MORE?

Don't always self centered and thk you are always right. Don't always think that fyp is the most tiring things. The year 3 is tiring too...

I feel like get more sleeps, get more rests instead of going to NTU to play badminton from this week onwards. Is that mean to be flykites? I just feel like stay in my room, hug my comp, hug my books, hug my violin? How so? I super feel like that....I don't want to step out from NUS from this week onwards...Don't come near to me!!!

And yes, i spoiled this roommate until she think i am super nice, super sweet. She wants a rental of keeping my luggage 80 SGD....wat the hell? I am ain't rich dear. As far as i put at my friend place, even is a 3 months vacation, i only pay them 50 dollars! So what's now? Because of ur work and travel, i have to subsidize u? So, who going to subsidize me and my violin? Stop to be ridiculous dear. I treat you as well as i can, i off the light to let u sleep better, but you didn't since last sem? I help you to fill water from the kitchen which is km..s away, and you just sit there and laugh loudly or sing ugly with the taiwan entertainment show. And one more thg...u ain't honest to me, u are bringing someone back to stay in the room during vacation, and took my bed too...I feel bad...why don't you charge him/her in order to subsidized? but me? think twice when u did tat to me...

So, can you guys be fair to me? I am trying my best to find the balance point. Don't keep blaming me...I am awful and pitiful too...

Merry Christmas...

2010-12-23T20:58:00.000+08:00

I love Christmas Day...Muacks

五月天的~那一把吉他

2010-12-09T16:41:00.002+08:00

之前，我迷上了五月天，也就看了他们的心路历程和短片访问。内容是他们每人的那一把吉他。很惊讶，因为他们手上的那把电吉他是由他们自己亲自自做的。首先，必须挑选自己喜欢的一块木。然后，再跟着师傅，亲力亲为的去切木，调木，然后给它一个生命，一个音色。

听，大自然，树是会说话的。当风婆婆唱歌时，树会回应。它呜呜呜的叫着。每一棵树的大小，形状会发出不同的音色；不同的味道。当树被砍下后，那一块板遗传着树的皱纹。想想几千年的树会有着很多的老皱纹，纹越多越老道，发出的声音应该更扎实、更响亮。

别看它冷冰冰没有感情的一条木，它在等待着重生。等着你给它一个崭新的生命。制作过程里，你给了它耐心和细心。给了它最完美的爱，最多的感情。伤了手指、流了血、流了汗。它其实也感受得到。你和它的关系更加心灵相通，更密切。

当你把它制造成了吉他的外壳的时候，你拍拍它，它会发出彭彭的声音。很好听。你再给它璇线，它会跟着璇的振动，有了旋律！

五月天的石头说了句话：“在它是树时，它唱歌给大自然的生物听；在它是吉他的时候，它就是在台上闪闪发亮的唱歌给所有的几千几万个台下观众听！试问，做弹奏者、音乐人的我们又怎能误了它？! "

大自然造就了乐器，人类造就了音乐。人类必须运用智慧，让它在这个世界唱出美丽的声音。

自古，美人抱琵琶，沧桑唱着歌儿；如今，摇滚乐队抱电吉他，摇滚呐喊着嘎车！

我也要！！！！
哦，我也要一把手工制作的小提琴:) 我也可以哼着西方古典乐曲。

看吧，不会珍惜的年轻人！

2010-10-13T00:42:00.001+08:00

希望这位朋友不会游览我的部落各。看了他的留言，我觉得年轻人没救了。竟然骂他妈妈FXXX! 还说迟回家，被妈妈骂！本来就是应该被骂！有家庭的温暖不要，要什么搬到外面住！

去游学，你就知道你会有几想念你的父母，希望他们唠叨你！天才啊你！醒醒吧！

test, test and TEST! y?

2010-10-10T14:24:00.000+08:00

test test test and test...

I really don't know how to handle them...

The sense of unsafe...the sense of unfinish....The sense of don't understand...

The notes is simple, the question is variety...The thinking is difficult...

Give me strength...I am the girl who working hard now but i deserve nothing ever since my first year in NUS.

Neither i have a single confidence right now.

Careless...Not patient.... Dumb...killed me...

O.o Emo...Elmo... Emo...Elmo...

I wish i can become Elmo...It is out of my ability now.... ishhhhh

i feel like crying

2010-08-29T17:41:00.000+08:00

God, give me strength. I have to pull through it even though i still have one more year. I must prove i am strong enough, i have improvement. Please...give me some strength:(

He replied!!!

2010-08-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

OMG..he replied and says "Grazie mille" to me....
I never expect this will happened. Miss ya, my dear teacher....

I never know why i can recognize his h/p number and his birthday by heart even i had left him for 6 years after my performance cert...

Frankly, i miss him so much. He is so sarcastic when he taught me in front of the piano. He scold and makes me cried a lot, upset and disappointed. Yet, i have to say...thanks teacher and happy birthday to you:)

人因梦想而长大，谢谢最伟大的她

2010-08-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

许玮伦走了，她带走了她的才艺，留给了大家一个美好的回忆。
才艺是由妈妈细心培养。妈妈肯定对她的离去而痛心。
我现在仍然还健在，我一定要妈妈为我感到骄傲。
妈，谢谢你的栽培，我会加油的。
爱你 ^^

叶璇

2010-07-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

一个经历了坎坷，刻苦。　终于成功的女生。

她演的连续剧不多，可是我就是偏偏喜欢上这个女演员。

她九岁时，父母离异。

她的父亲算是富豪。可是，没有给她任何觉得被宠爱的感觉。母亲为了惩罚她的父亲丢下九岁的她，狠心离去。

九岁，她学会绑辫子，努力考取好成绩。成绩出炉了，她是班上的高材生。可是，父母没有称赞她。她学会了自我欣赏。把成绩表在自己的床头。称赞自己，　爱自己多一点。

十三岁，就自己在美国黑人区租房间，自己努力生活，求学，考进美国顶尖大学的政治系。

她的勇气让我佩服。她的自立，自我欣赏，令我感到震叹不宜。

选美，进了娱乐圈，绯闻不断。她却可以笑说比起当年阮玲玉被逼得自杀生亡，现在媒体对艺人好太多了。我欣赏她的智慧。虽然父母没有对她很好，可是令我觉得难以置信，她竟然感激她的父亲。　谢谢他当年没有照顾她，令她依赖。

纵使，我觉得，要做大事的人，必须能够忍耐寂寞，忍耐孤单，不要埋怨，继续努力，才会成功。

比起她我太幸福了。让我趁着自己年轻，好好的磨练。

爱，　叶璇。

感动的加油

2010-07-23T16:29:00.000+08:00

许久，我还记得那一份令我突然欣喜的加油。
一个不苟言笑的你，突然温柔的说了声加油。

纵使，我一直对你是心惊胆战，我一直害怕你不满我的表现而愤怒、怒骂。
我的内心一直渴望你对我好一点，宽容和体谅。
你对我的严厉，我坦然接受。

后来的那一天，我最重要的那一天，我报考了那一张高级文凭，十六岁的我，快要验收我努力后的成果。当我心焦如焚的等待着进入考场，你突然来电。说了一声“加油！你可以的
！”你的这一份肯定，令我当场眼泪夺眶而出。我，哭了。

简单的一句加油令我终生难忘。为了要令你骄傲，我做到了。

可是，我离开了你，很久没和你联系。老师，谢谢你。至少，我在少年时曾经到达过音乐的巅峰。希望，有朝一日我会与音乐再续前缘。

shinny shinny day ^^

2010-06-26T17:22:00.000+08:00

Recipe of the day:

Miso soup + lotsa lotsa Mushroom + tauhu + seaweed = TASTE GOODDDDDD
Lady fingers + egg plant + tomyam curry seasoning = SMELLLLLLL GOOOOOOD

Sum = Nice Nice Lunch :)

People of the day:

My sis: She looks pretty lazy today:)
She was sleeping at my side just now and is crawling to her bed now:)
She drove me home from working place just now.
I proud of her getting used to the manual little white proton saga. Sis, you are great. Last time, you aren't that great but now you are. ( Although ppl horns bhind you, haha)

Pets of the day:

My doggie, 3 legs doggie. You are crazy. You bites me when i going out to hang my clothes. You climb over my body. You tear away the newspaper! Arghhh.... But we love you so much:) Muacks little doggie.

Songs of the day:
Erm...listening to joey yong's song. Mom says she likes " Amazing Grace" Oh yea...me too:)

Work of the day:
Hmmm... My autocad drawing... Drew, lights, switch, fan, air cond, water heater...I printed one for my own self safekeeping:) woohooo...Will be engineers somedays.....hahahahahah

Alright, i love today....A Cheerful one:) yabiyabadibadoo................

You never learn to appreciate when your children beside you

2010-06-12T12:36:00.002+08:00

Since young, i love my family and my parents a lot. I was thinking next year i will be stepped in my working life and not be able to come back to my home sweet home.

Therefore, i was trying very hard to persuade myself to go back home and have my internship near my hometown. In fact, i have did it by working at a five minutes drive distance's company.

I not really feel that i learn anything in the company. I feel like i learn nothing but only typing which is a skill i have already mastered in my primary school. Not even that, the boss there ask me to learn from the Malay girl about skill of drafting letter...HAHAHAHA...funny...i know everything better than the Malay girl regards to computer.

I feel the boredom of working life and i feel no challenging making me bored all the way.

I hope to have a happy weekend everytimes.

But now, you make me down.

What you have done to me and why did i sleep so early every night is because of you.
Not that praying and believe in god is not good but you are just too much...until you forget the existing of your husband and children.
I don't want to blame you for praying god because believe in god is a good practice. I did that also, but you are just too much.

You had used up my relaxing time to have your learning bible session, you used up my time of practicing piano. However, you blame me facing my computer without doing anything and you blame me about my learning about mathematics.

Hey, do you really know why did i choose to come back to Malaysia?
I miss my piano, my everything which i can't do everyday in Singapore.
You don't really know me but you pretend you are.
You know God more than me. I am not jealous but you are not going to appreciate the existing of me.

Well, i don' t know what will happen. I will just leave you here one day when i trying to achieve my dream.

I love you but i have to leave you someday....
I beg you to appreciate the existing of me from this moment...
I hope you are..

不要诬蔑我

2010-06-09T00:12:00.000+08:00

星星知道我的心事。

太阳知道我的正直。

云朵知道我的洁白。

雨滴洗脱我的罪名。

微风吹干我的泪滴。

毒蛇般的言语，

说我的不是，

蝎子般的心，

说我不忠。

沉重的责备，

像落井下石，

非要把我打得皮开肉绽。

那一幕直到今日我仍然历历在目。

我需要门时，你把我的门给堵着。

我需要窗时，你用木板把它钉了个交叉。

急需救我的人，我感激救过我的人。

虽然我浑身是伤，但我捡回一条小命。

感激。

但，

我还是无法原谅诬蔑过我的人。

造口业

2010-06-08T23:38:00.001+08:00

我，
坏了，
不孝，
不爱，
生恨，
厌恶，
诬蔑，
诽谤，
不敬。

叛逆，
顶嘴，
幼稚，
没有大智慧，
以小人之心度君子之腑。

为什么，二十来岁还是长不大？
不细心，
不忍耐，
动不动就哭，闹.

我的忍在哪里？
静在哪里？

我很坏很坏很坏很坏:(

刺

2010-06-08T23:32:00.002+08:00

那根刺
插在我心里
痛得厉害
无法拔掉。

痛，虽已麻，但有时一碰到它，
那一根刺的周围又是隐隐作痛。

我仍然怪着那不小心的我，
让这根刺给刺伤，
仍怪着那贪玩的我，
在两年前攀山越岭时，碰上这根刺。

伤痕累累，也伤了其他的关节，
已到了没有勇气再站起来，
亡羊补牢，也太迟了。

怎么补救？

再不补救，这根刺又在掀起，
当它令我隐隐作痛时，
我会更恨我自己，又更加厌恶这根刺。

怎么办？怎么办？

应该集中精神，专一，才会成功

2010-05-16T19:45:00.004+08:00

看完了汤杯，觉得中国赢得实至名归。他们的集中精神，努力抗战到底，是很值得学习。虽然林丹很骄傲，但他骄傲得起，他有那一份不败，有信心的力量，让他在球场上不败！虽然他有时也会高估自己，但是他对每一份比赛的努力，用心，是普通的凡人做不到。

到底，人生最重要是要做到自己喜欢的东西，然后做到底，抗战，努力，让自己骄傲，就是成功。我也要享受这一份骄傲。可是眼前这一门数学，我还是捉不到他的奥妙，我仍然不会让我自己沉迷，努力。往往每次我对着它，我的脑袋觉得它很枯燥。怎么办？

我还在寻寻觅觅，还在找着一个不在心底的热诚。

心啊心。。。。你在哪里了呢？你要快快在这一个暑假里，加油。不要每天facebook, 不要在发梦了。

我闷慌了，很想回到没有电子诱惑的从前。很想为自己的学习付出一些。

我没有定，没有集中精神，没有专一，所以，没有成功。

我知道弱点了。干嘛我还不付出? 我还真是有点不了解自己。

感慨的大学生涯

2010-05-02T11:41:00.001+08:00

很快的把大二念完。我想大二不辛苦，因为对自己的要求也没有很高了。打击也没有太大。害怕慢慢变成勇气，孤单变成享受，残酷换来接受，失败变成鼓励。看的人和事，每一个学期都不一样，学着不会因为环境改变太大而影响了自己的情绪。逆来顺受，冷静面对它。觉得应该发泄时，就跑回房间抱着枕头，把脸埋进去，哭个半小时就好了。

大二，会令我开始想着未来。因为，还没进大学前，从来不知道自己要些什么。我想，我不回读数学研究所，我应该不会继续研究数学的生涯。我想，我不想当一个正常的上班族。

我要：当学徒，做企业家。这个不简单，可是，很想试。我的愿望只是要赚下我人生的第一桶金，我就会乖乖的做一个正常的女人，女儿。以家庭为重。我只想要享受一下努力后，成功的快感。

我要：我有了小钱后，我要研究音乐，我要做我喜欢的音乐。它还是我的至爱。

呵呵，不过，这些愿望理想还是会有变数，接受和面对是最重要，努力吧:)

给自己加油

2010-04-10T22:33:00.004+08:00

心情好，
精神好，
成绩才会好。

希望这次考试能够高高兴兴进考场，快快乐乐的走出考场，
不要再垂头丧气；要抬头挺胸

中期考试成绩其实还没出，可是，我觉得考得又是不太好。
但，我要对我自己有信心，不可以让我自己失去信心！
虽然，真的没什么把握。但我还是要对自己说：

努力努力努力
加油！你行的！

呵呵呵

为什么这次的失败是开心的？

2010-03-26T22:06:00.003+08:00

奇怪，
失败，
为什么会开心？

我原本稳稳的拿着这个岗位
我原本就是被提名
被人推选的

可突然
有个人，拿了我另一个不喜欢的社团的经历
的无法成就职位来捅我一刀

痛列！
不过，突然要谢谢她

因为
突然又领悟到世界的可怕，残酷

突然又开心了，
因为她的击败，又让我有个机会成为下一届的表演者

我发誓要努力练琴
练到手断

我要把我画上逗号的音乐史，
再次推向高峰！

我要做得到！

我许这个愿望
时间：半年

只许成功，不许失败

火龙果坏了，我的心碎了

2010-03-25T18:29:00.004+08:00

千里迢迢，回了家，
爸爸买了又甜又大的火龙果，
果肉又红又甜美，
每个晚上都和姐姐各自吃半边火龙果，
我又把我那半边的一半分给妈妈，
姐姐又把她那半边的一半分给爸爸，
甜甜甜甜

“爸爸，火龙果好吃啊！ ”
“哦？？？我明天去买多点哦！”
第二天的早上，又到巴刹，挑了又红又大的一袋火龙果回来

乐了:)

兴高采烈的周末，来到尾声
妈妈拿着我的行李箱，
旁边放了我的衣物，
爸爸拿着一袋很重的火龙果，
放在行李箱的旁边

“爸，那么重，我回到哪儿，还得搭块铁，搭巴士，可以拿少一点吗？”
妈妈见了见“我帮你放进行李箱，用拖的就不会辛苦了。 ”

临行前，试试提行李箱，会不会很重？
我铁着嘴说：“不重啦！我年轻嘛！ ”

于是，又千里迢迢的回到这里
第一天，高兴挑了那个中等大小的火龙果
唉，不是很甜啦！
第二天，高兴挑了那个较小的火龙果
哇！好甜啊！！！！！！！

第三天，反正连续两天都吃它，不如等明天再吃吧
第四天，把袋子打开，
唉，火龙果坏了，烂掉了，发臭了。

都怪这天气，
都怪那臭气冲天的冰箱，
都怪那些贪吃的住户

我的火龙果闷在房里，坏了。
我的心也跟着碎了:(

mommy and I

2010-03-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

Good records

2010-03-06T14:58:00.001+08:00

Suddenly think of posting this...very fun...this is wat my feeling go on and off within this few months....

A very good record from MSN:)

peyhua: loving is not in the air, sehr langweilig i miss drama class... | Post a note

31 minutes ago

peyhua: loving is not in the air, sehr langweilig | Post a note

14 hours ago

peyhua has a new Messenger picture

| Post a note

15 hours ago

peyhua: i m loving it! love is in the air...muack muack muack.... | Post a note

2 days ago

peyhua: i love NUS choir...but the committee there makes me disappointed...u guys sux |Post a note

2 days ago

peyhua: When u sick, u summore get rejected with ur MC reason! wonderful! | Post a note

4 days ago

peyhua: i m loving it...love is in the air by imagination | Post a note

4 days ago

peyhua added photos to New album

5 days ago

peyhua: wat is ur dream? i wan to be a super star! duwan study liao.... | Post a note

Feb. 25

peyhua: mein koft tut weh | Post a note

Feb. 25

peyhua: nausea | Post a note

Feb. 24

peyhua: fever has gone ^^ | Post a note

Feb. 23

peyhua: fever | Post a note

Feb. 18

peyhua: i duwan to go bac to the hell...i wan to play play play and play... | Post a note

Feb. 15

peyhua: stressful CNY but with good food ! | Post a note

Feb. 12

peyhua: yeah! happy CNY | Post a note

Feb. 11

peyhua: vocab test | Post a note

Feb. 10

peyhua: finally reach a day tat i can rest | Post a note

Feb. 7

peyhua: 米修米修！外星人爸爸N仙女婆婆！ | Post a note

Feb. 6

peyhua: 米修米修！when u sleepy until like zombee pls tag to ur bed! ahhhhhhhhh | Post a note

Feb. 6

peyhua: 米修米修！tired till you die! | Post a note

Feb. 5

peyhua: 米修米修！ | Post a note

Feb. 4

peyhua: choir choir...u hav make me sick..u hav spoiled my fun | Post a note

Feb. 3

peyhua: great la this wednesday... | Post a note

Feb. 2

peyhua: i wan to go immersion....why m i now yr2sem2, wat's wrong with tat? why no financial for year 2 sem2 | Post a note

Feb. 1

peyhua: everything for him seems look trivial! am i going to fail? | Post a note

Jan. 31

peyhua: non productive at all! how ya! hell | Post a note

Jan. 31

peyhua: baby kangaroos need to wear seat belts in order not to TERjump out from mommy's pouch | Post a note

Jan. 30

peyhua: 不开心 | Post a note

Jan. 21

peyhua: 每一盏灯以下，就会有一户人家；每一户人家都有自己的故事 | Post a note

Jan. 18

peyhua: You can easily see it is easy...erpz =.=''' | Post a note

Jan. 18

peyhua: admire someone is alwaz a nice feeling for a gilr | Post a note

Jan. 17

peyhua: i miss my drama class....miss miss miss | Post a note

Jan. 16

peyhua: is juz a cute teddy bear out there...mama, buy me one | Post a note

Jan. 16

peyhua: tiring yi dian dian | Post a note

Jan. 15

peyhua: Alkan rocks | Post a note

Jan. 15

peyhua: happy super birthday to my cousin sis | Post a note

Jan. 13

peyhua: high maintanence lady needs money! | Post a note

Jan. 13

peyhua: money | Post a note

Jan. 11

peyhua: new sem started.....bahhhh | Post a note

Jan. 10

peyhua: pro la u.... | Post a note

Jan. 9

peyhua: tired... | Post a note

Jan. 8

peyhua: new sem started | Post a note

Jan. 5

peyhua: | Post a note

Jan. 4

peyhua: happy birthday newton...bring along the small snail ya | Post a note

Jan. 1

peyhua: happy new year gahhh | Post a note

Dec. 30

peyhua: the holiday is short...set set dam dam | Post a note

Dec. 29

peyhua: set set dam dam!not h | Post a note

Dec. 29

peyhua: set set dam dam! | Post a note

Dec. 28

peyhua: 爱是一种需要，却不一定要得到只要你觉得快乐就好梦会温热眼角，让回忆像水草般缠绕却总能让人勇敢不少 | Post a note

Dec. 26

peyhua: 爱是一种需要，却不一定要得到，只要你觉得快乐就好 | Post a note

Dec. 25

peyhua: 爱是一种需要 | Post a note

Dec. 25

peyhua: happy boxing day 美酒下肚，昏昏欲醉，热气循身 | Post a note

Dec. 25

peyhua: 美酒下肚，昏昏欲醉，热气循身 | Post a note

Dec. 25

peyhua: sherlock holmes...i wan to watch....desperate | Post a note

Dec. 24

peyhua: jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells rock | Post a note

Dec. 24

peyhua: let's enjoy the christmas day | Post a note

Dec. 23

peyhua: little snail crawl faster | Post a note

Dec. 23

peyhua: ... | Post a note

Dec. 22

peyhua: hey master, remember to bring ur little snail along | Post a note

Dec. 22

peyhua: hey master, bring ur little snail along | Post a note

Dec. 21

peyhua: resut out...sek mmm onn...chorrr mmm lok...dead | Post a note

Dec. 20

peyhua: 22nd dec | Post a note

Dec. 19

peyhua: 我今天很生气 | Post a note

Dec. 19

peyhua: i like teddy bear | Post a note

Dec. 16

peyhua: 22nd dec..the feeling for this date is dead | Post a note

Dec. 16

peyhua: 22nd dec.. | Post a note

Dec. 14

peyhua: .... | Post a note

Dec. 14

peyhua: hehe | Post a note

Dec. 8

peyhua: love YET! bac in klang...woohoo | Post a note

Dec. 8

peyhua: bac in klang...woohoo | Post a note

Dec. 3

peyhua: thanks for the mouse, shark...and ohhh..mouthwatering jacob | Post a note

Dec. 3

peyhua: Ohhh...mouth watering alpha Jacob! oooooohhhh | Post a note

Dec. 3

peyhua: Ohhh...wat a mouth watering alpha Jacob! oooooohhhh | Post a note

Dec. 2

peyhua: new moon here i come! | Post a note

"wondeful" cny's night

2010-02-17T02:19:00.001+08:00

Stress which never end...
Studies which never end...
Tireness which never end...
Homeworks which never end...

Please dun put an end for my CNY....

Still have few more days to go b4 i drag myself to hell again...

Yet, i need to study at this moment when everyone sleep there but i still working out with my financial math:(

Sob Sob sigh sigh...

noob me...i can't figure it out...

darn it

Sense of nervous

2010-01-25T00:47:00.000+08:00

I try to prevent myself to be too nervous; i try to avoid negative feeling which can overwhelm me; i try to take it easy but due to i take this interview seriously, i hardly put myself into bed.

I know this is my very first time, even now i try to practice speak confidently, i not very sure i can make it. I too used to broken English; i too used to chinese literate. I hope tomorrow i won't be the one who shy; won't be the one who get shocked during the interview.

I know that interview is the toughest one:) Mommy ask me, are u sure u want to go shanghai?

I not very sure...but this is the only chance for me to run away from NUS>.<

I too tired to study math. I can't understand why am i doing math:)
I reach the turning point...but is local minimum...very minimum...i wanna boost it up...

I am 22 yrs old now...kinda old....When my mom was in this age, she drew fantastic picture, she gain one house and one car to support my dad:D

Learn from her, i will chiong all of my best for the interview tmr:D

Amitabha

End of year 2009 review

2009-12-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

Review 1 : bad programming kill my CAP during year 1 sem 2...HAHAHAHA...no talent....receive the truth with opened heart =)

Review 2 : Put down my personal feeling ( sad, down and helpless) and begin a new life in new sem:D

Review 3 : Happy happy happy...Happiest in my life...i went England and Scotland. Is a brand new kick starts. Life is colorful. Thanks bro Nic and sis Mel for being the sponsor to me and mommy:)

Review 4 : Year 2 new sem starts:) I am happy. I grab some friends:p Weet...no longer morose when facing problems with my work:) Got slightly improvement.

Review 5 : HOHOHOHO....happy christmas and happy holiday season which nourished by love of my friends:) FLOWERS...i love you.....JI MUI...i miss you

Overall, bad starts of the year but good ending....
Keep it up! YOYO... i will keep pushing myself on.....

Theives!!!!

2009-11-24T12:29:00.002+08:00

有贼有贼，住处有贼
防贼防贼，大家该防贼
我的巧克力，咖啡，芝士，被贼偷了
我的灵魂也被偷走了
考试时，巧克力是我的生命
他们不在，我也不在
贼贼贼
贼贼
偷吧，大可以大方的跟我要
我可以施舍给你们
阿弥陀佛
善哉善哉

I am tagged 11/10/2009

2009-11-11T03:20:00.002+08:00

If i were have a chance to leap my time:)

2009-11-11T02:58:00.002+08:00

If i were the girl who can leap my time, the lucky one...i will go bac to my age of 18 accepting the offer of taiwan? or may be stay in msia study USM?

Or may be not so greedy leap it on and on for this sem...however, it cant happen, the leaping will stop and ended...

How leh...i should keep understand wat is my weakness for this funky math module...try it up b4 the exam...skip the lecture(since i hav went it) then everyday pia chek? fully use all the time?

Sometimes abstract physic or math, really can prove time can leap...space can leap too:)

If you find a black hole and a white hole...you simply pass through the black one and reach the white one, simply dun distort the black hole by ur mass...(hopefully your mass is small enough for you to squeeze in White hole) congratz..u reaching the another spacetime as you wish.

Sometimes, uncertainty, mystery did happen to live:)

That's why we cant explain why we are here? Eggs come or Chicken come first? Who is the one who first develop human? we really come from aqua animal->reptile->birds->dinosaur->monkey->orang utan-> the african-> human? Are we? No one can tell.

And from this new era...wat human do is create another human by clonning, create funky thgs through programming...loop here and there, discover mathmatical drake equation, physic( the existence of matter), electron photon, chemical organic element....on and on...just to find those mystery which is uncover:)

We never ever appreciate our existence here but so tends and mean to know the future, the mystery uncover.

Create stress to the world, educate the youngster, make them compete....create pain, sorrow but never enjoy.
Make the existence of money become powerful and make the existence of love become sorrowful. What's point? Somehow someday, we will die off by not taking the money with us. Somehow someday, our brain is just cannot work with those equation, theorem. Why?

Simply duno why, we want ourselves suffer so much, but end up not carrying away the success...We can only simply bring the happiness or the sorrow away but not this glamour success....

Let's just be selfish...live for you own:) be happy and don't be calculated with your glamour gloria "succesful rating" life

hi bloggie

2009-10-28T16:34:00.002+08:00

Hi bloggie,

It has been nearly one month i never step you, never even wrte something one you, never talk to you,
sorry bloggie.

I have change you to become private bloggie to let myself have more privacy:)

May be somedays i will change you back to public?

hehe....
now i am in week11, wat am i going to do is
this week : 1 oral german test, 1 ma2222quiz
nex week : 1 german vocab test, 1 ma2222quiz
nex nex week : 1 german test, 1 pc1322 test, 1 make up ma2222 test
nex nex nex week :reading week
nex nex nex nex week : exam ma2108, ma2213, ma2222
end of my semester
nex nex nex nex nex week: music camp
nex nex nex nex nex nex week :prepare for my caroling

wondering...am i going to stay here?
i wanna go home:(

bye bloggie...hope you are fine and healthy...
just rest here for one more month...i will be bac soon:)

I fail again

2009-09-28T01:08:00.000+08:00

My MA2222 fail ady...one of the favourite subject in this semester. Why fail? I really dunno...any help now? I feel sad. Why should I am always the one who fail. I dunno wat is the reason which make me fail. I simply cannot perform in exam. This mean i fail. I dun like it, its look like quiz, very disgusting. I have to finish on time i really scared. I can't be under pressure. I am stupid. Help! I dont hav form to study anymore. Help. Tmr got 2 papers, i guess i cant perform, i guess i really cant. I cannot take it any more.

我都把爱转变成讨厌，厌倦，烦！

2009-09-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

我不喜欢人们好心做坏事。
硬在我伤口上撒盐。
一堆朋友，下学期要去交换，高高兴兴地plan module 我就是被遗弃的，成绩不好，没有的去，因为第一个学期，太滥，所以，一失足成千古恨。没办法，怪自己笨，自己没朋友，适应能力烂！！！！
然后，plan module 的人，拿着 planner,当你上课很想听到底教授在教什么，她在你耳边说这个module map 到，那个module map不到。

去他妈的！！！！谁想知道啊！越听越滚！而且他妈的还用了我的电脑，还是名正言顺，我又不能说什么，　因为是我不好，我自己没得去交换，别人的喜悦，要跟我分享，我却小心眼。
可是，我真的笑不出！

还有，我很想哭，所有的机会因为第一年成绩很烂，没得申请，可是，一堆人很喜欢在我旁边叽叽喳喳的说他们在申请。那种无可奈何，很难忍受，大概，没有人能够分享这种充满挫败，无奈的感觉。

回到家里，温暖的感觉一点都感受不到。
没有温暖，只有父母拼命吵，他们又不明白你在想什么，又很喜欢诬蔑你的朋友利用你。
然后，他们把你关在家里，自己出去一整天。要你出去，你又矛盾，因为戴你去无聊的地方会妨碍你读书的时间。

我真的没有人生，　我找不到令我开心的人或事情。
我真的很不开心。

我想找个人谈场恋爱，或找个很好的朋友在她家过一个晚上。但是，应该现在没有人选。
我都很不喜欢靠近我的人，因为，我很自卑，我很讨厌自己，所以，我不喜欢别人。
我讨厌人家对我所加油，这是无形的压力。
我讨厌现在，我期盼未来，这像鬼的两三年快快滚过去。　

我是红叉烧

2009-09-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

今天，其实很不想去做义工，帮忙nus splash down event, 因为分数只有一分，又时间很长，下周又要考试，所以有少少希望下雨，取消！
即去之，则安之，既然去了就要enjoy!
很开心，看到很多游泳健将，不屈不挠的精神，游了100 个laps! 太厉害了。
如果是我游十个，已经很满足了。
尽心尽力的帮忙，被太阳晒得像叉烧，还是很兴奋。
有免费的芽菜鸡饭，是我在新加坡一年后，吃过最好吃的。
我也不小心拿了原本要给sponsor 的goodie bag.

里面有
三条巧克力，
一包零食，
一包音乐饼干
3包马力饼干
一个游泳帽
两件衣服
一套笔和计算机
两个荧光带
一堆矿泉水

太阳晒到象叉烧的回报

开学，有可能会报名学游泳
希望，有一天能够成为水上飞鱼，不是水上美人鱼。

美丽的星期五

2009-09-11T16:48:00.004+08:00

不管工作还是上课，不管你是家庭主妇还是上班有事业的男人，都很盼望星期五。
上课时，对自己说，忍一忍再过几个小时，你就能够解脱了。
考试时，对自己说，忍一忍，表现中上，再过几分钟就好了！
回到宿舍休息，很开心，又可以facebook, blogging, 听歌看戏和妈妈skype。答应自己这个星期，这个周末要做的事都抛到脑后，没脑没思想的度过这个轻松的晚上。艾，多想永远都是星期五，多么轻松，喘气，欢笑多快乐。

星期一，请离我远去。

Montag gehen bitte weg von mir.
Monday, please go away from me!!!!!!

我喜欢有思想的人

2009-09-05T23:55:00.002+08:00

有思想的人，好难摸索，对他们都很有兴趣，不管是男的还是女的。
为什么人总是那么奥妙呢？思想总会让他们发出光芒。
尤其到了大学，很多的生活体验，不一样了。思想成熟，不再哭了。思想也渐渐变得成熟。
我不喜欢，年轻的人，只顾着成绩，执着着功课和成绩。害怕这个科会拖累成绩，那个科目会让他成绩一落千丈，每一分每一秒都在斤斤计较，很没意思！天天执着不愿讨论答案，答案不是重点，最重要是过程。

然而，我也不喜欢讲话不经大脑的人，问一堆莫明其妙的问题，为了打开话题。好无聊，话不投机，半句多！既然我不喜欢这种人，我就不会跟你说多啦。浪费力气，折磨感觉。

Laugh of the Day

2009-09-05T14:52:00.004+08:00

Laughter the best medicine!

OH ya...i am goin for in fusion meeting today...happily ended approximate 2 hrs...

When i reach RVR...i am taking the lift up to my room.

Here comes 2 indians girl from IFG Engineering Team....They must be very tired after training...sweating all over the face, neck and the back.

One of the indian girl looks at the mirror in the lift and say.

"OMG! i become dark already! OH NO!"
The other girl console her...

alright, end of the story.

I almost burst in laugh, aren't they are already very super duble dark, what is the different of playing under the sun or not playing under the sun....

hehe....

Is a dream!

2009-08-30T20:48:00.002+08:00

heex...i grabbed this photo from my brother's friend, and now she is my friend, wei ling's photo album.

Hah...term started and having stress...look back to the past, the sweet time when i went to my sponsored trip to UK, i would like to thank my brother.

Phew....i lost my target initially...now i have it...let me faster finish this undergraduate life..May be i am making a wrong choice for being in Math this time...I can't expand the talent here...But i still need to appreciate myself for being existence in the world. The world is big..big and much much larger....

This singapore island is only 0.111111% of the world. May be oni 0.0000001%, who knows?
Hmmm....influenced by my brother's gang...i truthfully admire them....They have their life enjoy every moment! Although they are suffer when they work, they manage to enjoy the fruit. They sacrifice and take the risk to achieve their dream.

Hah...wat's next..South America for them...NICE...bless them have a nice trip.

I wish i wish...i will be financially independent in my future...grab my first camera...and go to somewhere which is nice, beautiful ...somehow, will enlighten my thinking and my soul!

While waiting for the sweet moment...let me work hard for my tutorial now...haha

A Good Solo

2009-08-28T17:32:00.003+08:00

Started from kindergarten, your mom will hold your hands, brg you to school, hug you and kiss you goodbye. When you came home, your mom bath you, feed you and check your homework, do some arts work with you. Your dad sings you to bed, your mom tell you bedtime princess story:) Nice...

You grow...few years later, your teacher hold your hands, teach you to read, write and speak. They interprete everything for you, and try to deliver you some simple question and provide the answer as well.

Soon, your secondary school, your teacher try to leave you alone by delivering some info which is you think not so relevant. But sometimes, somehow, the teacher still interprete something useful to you and provides you answer and question....YAY...with the helping hand of your friends, you discuss, mix around, learn together, you grow.

Now, is time for university. Your lecturer only lecture in the class but not teaching, your tutor cannot speak and teach well, your job is now learn to find your question and find your answer as well with no proper answer provided. OK, now actually we should find some friends. But as i am an international student, i can't have alot of good friend here. May be just some hi and bye friend. Well, sometimes due to the bell curving system, alot of students here are quite selfish too...They won't care about you, even answer cannot be shared!

"Helpless" creeping in your life....you are now helpless and hopeless...firstly, the lecturer is just lecture in the hall and not even know who are you, secondly, the tutor is a graduate student and they can't speak proper english(COOL) and no experience in teaching...simply cannot teach!thirdly, you hardly get some nice friend:) fourthly, you can't manage to do the stuff alone.

So, learn to be SOLO. Cover urself with your positive personally outside. Although your confidence become lesser and lesser every moment when you just hardly survive in this cruel place, you must stand still, head still, back still! Smile, act as a professional one to scare the others. learn to be SOLO!!! Independent is nothing. U must kno your stuff all on alone, understand it alone, learn the ans alone. Even dun hav enough time, you must do it all alone....

SOLO SOLO SOLO SOLO SOLO SOLO

Target and talent

2009-08-28T10:48:00.003+08:00

The world which no talent left, no target left is sometimes driving me to become crazy. Sometimes when you look at your exam paper, past year paper,tutorial question, assignment question, u can't solve them, you become very frustrated. Not even understand the very original definition. You attended all the lecture, you study all the time, but the talent of understand and interprete the question are gone.

Should i say absence minded in university?
Watching ppls to join SEP...i want to...It's doesn't matter the financial problem not allowing me to...but is my result which was sux in my first year. I don't have the feeling to get an A until now. I duno wat is the feeling of getting an A after every exam, because i never ever experience it b4 since i enter uni. 10 subjects which no As inside but rewarded me 2Ds.

The requirement for exchange student is u muz not get a D in your academic paper. I dunno wat should i do in NUS...I hope to join some activities to activate my thinking brain cells. But i am not working to it too.... The committee, the society , the club dont want me. I have no talent to persue them to let me stay. Or may be i should say, my english delivery speech is POOR? or no confidence on myself? I don't have previous relevant talent to support me enter any club anymore.

I don't know how competitive this NUS will be. Why not the world give me some chances to try the positions, try to success in studies again. I am giving myself chances, but after i fail to much i will feel that i should quit. Why not the world gimme an option, to quit the studies here? I don't know how hard i should stand here to suffer. I don't know. Everytime after i study, they awarded me C or D. I dunno! What's is the feeling of A. I just hope to get into honour year. However, it is something impossible.

Help...helpless...lonely....every negative feeling surrounding me... emo emo...and make me wasted one whole night just to cry. I don't know why i wan to cry. I am not sure about cry can cure the question but i am pretty sure it can ease some of my pain. My tears is no longer precious anymore. It can slides down within one second if i think about the D and the failure.

Stand up fast, and look forward! i told myself. How to stand? I am really not sure where to find the confidence to stand anymore.

hug...love...buck up faster....recover pls...you have no more time left....

The abortion of baby

2009-08-24T08:41:00.002+08:00

Pain still the pain which never ever eased. It is normal to feel sad and pain, but i must dump it somewhere, because the baby no more in my body, no longer can stay with me, may be for time being. I duwan to lost the touch, but i have to. I am the weak one, i must give up this for time being. Give up the baby, let the monster bring her away, and try to born another one next time. For the next time, i will be more careful, no more take it so easily and forget about the existence of the monster.

The pain now deep inside my heart, no one cure it although everyone advicing concerning. No more pride for me to show off the beautiful baby girl because she is dead no longer belongs to me, taken away by the monster. Although i wan her so much, for this moment, i am not allowed to do anythg but to focus for my "health". My everything which is undone and hardly to be done. I must stay strong stay fit to wait for the day my another baby to born.

I must put down the pain, the sadness....
I must do it right now...
god, help me...pls open a window to me when you shut my door...
ease my pain quickly....
i need a shelter...urgently

Failure dominating

2009-08-23T20:11:00.003+08:00

What will happen when your dream, your hope, your desire burned within a night, however u are unprepared for it. Once upon a time, you dream to become a very good musician and regret to choose something else. Once upon a time, you have owned a pride with an honour of distinction, with respectful eyes of the audience, with a loud applause which rocks the stage. Although is a small stage, you are young and talented. With all those pride, you have grown. You live in a world full of beautiful dreams and your headful of ideas still living back in the past. You have grown, you have grown, grow until the year of 20 or may be 21. You have been choosen the others thg to further study on it, you lost the touch, you lost the feeling but the pride still playing in your head. You still have the dream. One day, you find a place which can let you bring up the pride again, you tried, but you fail. What will be the feeling?

When i love something deeply, i hurt. Just like they are killing my child. At this moment, i really tend to chop my both hands down, cut my brain cells out, dump them away. I lost what i have gained in the past. I realize i am now living in the past but not living in the present. Lost touch lost touch, hurts and hurts, the failure screw into my heart deeply, until the blood flew out, finally its dried. The blood stained on my wound, the scar, the blood scene, cover all over my body. I have wished i could die now,not to delayed but immediately. I have wished i termintate myself from moving on or find a place for myself to shelter. I wanna escape, this phenomena is not suitable for me.

I tried to cope in every single moment. I tried to climb up from every failure. But i tend to fell into the failure easily again. Again and again, until the failure dominating my soul, my heart. Now, is time to give up, give up everythg, giv up every moment, leave the quote "to survive to compete"alone . Let the strong one live, let the weak one die. I am the weak one, i deserve to leave and to die.

fafa quote:" I simply love my room"

2009-08-19T10:31:00.007+08:00

My room started to become messy., although the semester is just started. I love my room with no reason, because it is not as heat as pgp....not as small as pgp...more convenient than pgp...although only few choices of food provided on weekend. Simply love it....simply feel comfortable to study:)

Here i attach some messy photo of my room :)

心境

2009-08-03T13:56:00.002+08:00

这几天去敲钟念佛，生活过得很充实，虽然有时觉得学佛很累人，比如念阿弥陀佛念一千遍，跪拜礼佛。但是，心无杂念，很开心。不会因为学业不顺利，竞争的选科系，辛苦的看数目字，而不开心。

可是，不知为什么，每一次要去念佛时，就有点懒散，不肯起床，不肯洗澡，好像是障碍。

呵呵，不管怎样，凡是都要用平常心去面对，见步行步。能就能不能就算咯。。。随缘

阿弥陀佛

Wait

2009-07-30T17:04:00.004+08:00

I am waiting...waiting for stress...waiting to struggle...waiting to run my brain hopelessly.
I have imagined my brain turn into Tauhu this semester...bcos i even outbidded in my bidding.
Why am i always so dumb and being not scared to loose?
Why am i so careless in doing everything...without thinking the worse things would fall on me?
Why am i grab info so slowly when i am having lecture class?
Why am i always study and restudy but almost 50% of the information cannot enter my brain?
What am i waiting for?
I am waiting for the day to graduate...
For almost one year of my experience through my course, i have a very huge feeling of failure.
In my life of almost 20 years, i do not encounter such failure b4.
May be math not suitable for me. Why am i always surviving when in high school even Pre U?
However, when come to uni everything has changed...
The changes is much too fast until i have forgetten what is the feeling of sad, disappointed and finally giving up but not giving in.
I wish to take something which i really like it...which i can take it without stress...
something which i really enjoy and be happy when study although it is tough....
I need to focus and find my talent...it is so unobvious!
where is my talent now?
definitely not the formulae for my applied math now...i think i m in wrong way...not the right way smooth way...i have to die die take it for at least this few yrs...then i will fly for my dream.
I must promise myself...i will find my dream after this rediculous 3 yrs...
I must...
Is a must ....

Claire de Lune

2009-07-24T21:41:00.003+08:00

皎洁的月亮- clear moon....by Debussy

很久以前有弹过debussy 的歌，总是弹不好，感觉很奇怪。事隔多年，经过了twilight 的洗礼后，还有我伤心又痛苦的经历，开心的现在，让我更加珍惜每个音符的美妙，谢谢，以前老师的教导。

突然，好开心，因为寻回那种热爱音乐的心情，那种有满足感的感觉，心里真的会开心，会温暖，会想象浪漫的气息，空气会突然清新。。。

好开心哦！

恶梦

2009-07-23T14:12:00.004+08:00

看到这幅甜美的小猫咪的照相，都会令人觉得会是一场好梦，怎么会是恶梦？哈

一场作夜所发的梦，

动画介绍

甲猫：像图画那只白猫，很美，可是很无能，应该是我来的。

乙猫：很帅的猫，应该是男的，样貌不详

丙猫：小猫一名，黑色脸，白色身体。

丁猫：母猫一名，黑色脸，白色身体，很凶狠。

梦完第一部分，我惊醒，大概是被欺负得遍体鳞伤后，被吓醒。而第二部分，就是到现在我还牢牢记在脑海，大概7 点早上开始梦的。

话说，甲猫和乙猫是很要好的朋友，他们在窗户（白色英国式的窗户）看着美丽的夜景，突然丙猫很坏蛋，就特地布下陷阱，用力的咬了甲猫一口，推她朝窗口的方向去。结果，乙猫替甲猫站稳了。他们不以为然，继续欣赏夜景。

结果，丙猫不但没有停止他那无聊的举动，还在丁猫那里煽风点火，丁猫怒了，毛发站了起来，扑向甲猫，甲猫失去平稳度，失足跌到窗户去，前面两只脚扣着窗口后腿却吊在那儿，不能动荡。

乙猫不得不反抗，随即向丁猫扑去，在她肩膀和脸上扯了一块肉，残忍！丁猫血流不止，死了！

丙猫想要推开甲猫的前脚，让她坠楼身亡。　机灵的乙猫把他捉了起来，　从高楼丢了他下去，救了甲猫！

-end of story-

试着想想我是那只甲猫，哈多恐怖啊！

p/s: 日有所思，　夜有所梦；　我竟然把twilight，那个edward 扯了那个坏的vampire, james 的一块肉的那一幕给搬进猫和梦的梦境里！惨！

New Moon Review

2009-07-21T16:11:00.007+08:00

So nice to keep a synopsis on my own blog b4 i become very busy with my studies and forget about the twilight series. Yeah!

Happy birthday to Bella. She is celebrating her 18th birthday with her family. A camera from her father, a scrapbooks which needs photo to fill it up from her mother, an aeroplane tickets from Esme and Carlisle, stereo system for her old trek from Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. Is it a great birthday? NO, it is a start of her nightmare. She has a present wrapper cuts her finger, she drops a single drop of blood on the carpet. Jasper burst from his thirst and try to attack her. Edward wants to protect Bella by pushing away Jasper to knock the white grand piano and pushing her aside until she knocks the wall and scratch her arms. Stitches all over her arms to stop her from bleeding.

Edward has realized the danger that will killed Bella. He and his family will creates danger for bella. He is dilemma whether has to flight or fight. The flight is: he must leave Bella alone and not to disturb her life by giving her the original life she had. The fight is: stay with her and creates her to become one of his type one day. Edward doesn't want to change Bella into vampire to prevent her from danger, he decided to leave. "Goodbye Bella" He kissed her and left her in the meadow. She fainted in the meadow and breath unconsciously without the existence of her lung.

Everyday, every night, she screams and awake from her nightmare. It is not a horrible, terrifying one, but is a dream which is empty, nothing inside, nothing, only left her alone in the meadow. Time flew, she has to try her best to adapt her daily routine life, take care of Charlie, have fun with school friends. However, she still deeply in love with Edward and miss his voices a lot. She likes to endanger herself with silly activities such as motorcycles rides and heading inside a pub which a lot of De Javu welcoming her inside. She wants to hear Edward's voice to stop her, to scold her. The more she put herself in danger, the stronger she heard Edward's voice in her head. She even believes that Edward will show up and save her if she is going to die.

She seeks comfort from her friend Jacob Black who has eased her pain over losing Edward. One day, she hang out with Jacob and Mike Newton for movie. Here, Jacob confesses that he has a different feeling with her, he loves her more than the loves of friendships. Bella shocked. From that day, Jacob doesn't show up. Bella has worried about his safety because he has told her the youngster in La Push, Quil and gang has followed Sam Uley to becomes the reservation members for La Push. They has grown up taller and full with muscles, sometimes, they are not allow to talk and be friend with Jacob anymore.

Loneliness back to Bella when she no longer accompanied by Jacob as in Jacob avoid himself from her. She is bored and try to hike in the forest to find the meadow where she and Edward hang out those days. Her dad, Charlie has warned her that it is danger to go for hiking because of the appearance of animals trying to kill human being. However, Bella has ignored the advise. A very familiar meadow with sun shine on the pathway appear in front of Bella. A very familiar shadow appeared, not Edward but Laurent. Laurent told her, Victoria is seeking her for revenge for her soul mate, James. Will be good if Bella die under his thirst rather than die under Victoria's plan. " Mouthwatering!" Laurent repeated. Edward murmured in Bella's head, " Not to move an inch" Here, there comes a gang of big wolves, chase over Laurent and kill him.

Bella is safe now and she has figured out Jacob Black is a werewolf. Bella are now exploring herself with a lot of Quileutes Legends, werewolf stories and back to become Jacob's friend again. Jacob is quite "pushy" and concerns to become Bella's boy friend rather than friend. However, Bella doesn't want to exceed the limit of friendships because she is still in love with Edward.

Again, Bella wanted to hear Edward's voice is then urge her to jump from the cliff at La Push beach. Jacob has saved her. A miscommunication has lead Edward to believe that Bella has killed herself by listening Jacob answer the phone that Charlie is out for a funeral. Edward has gone to the Volturi, vampire royalty at Italy to kill himself. Alice in hurry comes to Bella and told her Edward is in danger in order to bring her to save him. Alice who sees the future know that Edward is going to walk to the sun and show himself sparkle in the public in order to get attention of the Volturi. (Volturi not allowed any of the vampire to show their existence in the public, they keep vampire in secret so they can co- exist with human).

Time, hours, minutes, seconds, Bella shorts of time...Anyway, she manage to run across the square and just in time to save Edward from his silly act. Before leaving Italy, the Volturi royalty which leads by Aro, Caius and Marcus are eager to talk to Edward. The Volturi guard arrested Edward, Bella and Alice and lead them from the ground of Volterra Square to the cold and dark underground and finally lead them to a luxurious hall. Bella shivered a lot because of the coldness and the scary phenomena.

Introduce super nature power of Vampire

Alec: A gifted vampire who has the power to make the enemies blind and deaf.

Jane: A gifted vampire who has the power to torture and pour the pain on people.

Edward : A gifted vampire who can read others mind

Alice : A gifted vampire who can see the future of others and herself.

Jasper: A gifted vampire who can control others feeling.

Aro is interested with Edward's and Alice's talent and tend to invite them to the Volturi. He is even interested in Bella, because he can't read Bella's mind. He is curious what will happened to Bella if she has become a Vampire. He is worry about the Cullen will broaden their power because their family members will be increased and talented. They try to have some excuses to test and destroy Bella. Aro orders Jane to torture Bella, but Bella never hurts but Edward did hurt because he is the one who try to protect Bella. Finally, Caius is frustrated and tend to give Edward 2 options: 1st: destroy Bella. 2nd: turn her into vampire because she has know too much of vampire stuffs. Bella urged Edward to "mean it" to turn her to vampire. She is ready for that!Aro claimed they will visit the Cullens to check whether Bella are turned into vampire or not in few months time. They leave Italy at last.

When they return to Forks, Bella told Edward she needs Edward in order to keep herself alive. She hopes Edward will never leave her again and forgive him. She wants the Cullens to vote whether to change her into vampire or not and the answer is yes.... everyone agree except Edward and Rosalie. Meanwhile, Edward gives her 2 choices : change to become vampire by Carlisle after her graduation or marry Edward and let him change her himself.

Victoria is still taking the revenge on her own in the meanwhile... after the dead of Laurent.

Twilight 回顾

2009-07-15T22:21:00.008+08:00

从英国回来已经有两个星期。这两个星期没有常常上网，完全投入在这个虚幻有僵尸和狼人还有人类的世界里。其实，我已渐渐觉得没有上网其实生活才真正的有意义。没有MSN ，没有伊妹儿，没有FACEBOOK, 没有部落阁，没有sms, 我感觉到很轻松，像回到中学时期，我没有这些诱惑，很专心。爽！我在想：如果我可以抱着同样的态度面对我的课本，那就太好了！

1. twilight: story started with a girl, Isabella Swan, she went from Seattle to Forks and stayed with her father while her mother is getting marry with a young man, Phil. She does not really like her life, but she is trying hard to adapt it. She meets a guy, weird guy, Edward Cullen, who gives her a weird reaction when they first have their biology class together. She is interested in him, however he didn't show up in school for nearly a week. One day, Bella nearly knocked by her friend's car in school compound and saved by Edward. The speed and strength that Edward showed up makes Bella confuse and curious. She wanted to find the answer, but Edward doesn't feel like giving her the proper answer. He wanted to keep some distance between himself and Bella. Here, Bella is joining her friends to La Push, she found the legends of Quileute, the cold ones, the vampires which related to Cullen's family(vegetarian coven). Another day, when Bella is going to a book shop near Port Angeles. She meets De Javu, here comes Edward to save her. Accidentally, she has touched Edward's hand... woo! extremely cold. That night, Bella did not sleep well, she google the legends of Quileute and suspects that Edward is actually ---> a vampire!

As for Edward's side, he doesn't know why he can't read Bella's mind. He curious about what is the girl thinking about most of the time. Bella told him, she suspected him is a vampire. A basic question " What do i drink?" being asked by Edward. The answer is : blood. So, a vampire in love with a human; a lion in love with a lamb.

Bella's Quote" First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

The challenges has come, Edward brought Bella to play Baseball with his family in a clearing field. Here comes the nomad coven to join their games, Laurent-the leader, James-the tracker and Victoria. (James and Victoria are soul mates. ) A wind blew towards Bella and stings James, the tracker, he 'flings' out a word "You brought a snack!"to Edwards. The games announced to start! Bella is in danger. She must leaves her father immediately while Edwards, Rosalie and Emmett have to catch James and kill him b4 he reaches Bella.

Human always has a weak instinct. Bella has been told by James over the phone that her mother , Renee is in danger. She bites her lips and go to the Ballet room to meet her mother and face James without acknowledges Edward. Here, James traps her, knocks her until she bleeds, steps her with his strong foot, bites her hand with his venom. Angriness force Edward to tear James into pieces. Urgently, Bella needs Edward to survive. Carlisle Cullen, the doctor, advice Edward to make his decision fast, whether to suck the venom out from Bella's hand to prevent her from immortal. Edward doubts whether he could make it by overcome his thirst.

Finally, Bella is safe from becomes a vampire and end up healing in the hospital. The story throwing out a quires b4 its end. Did Edward will change Bella into Vampire as he promised her? It will eventually against the treaty that the Quileutes and Cullens have made. Cullens cannot change any of the human in Forks to become vampire. If so, how did Bella and Edward love each others forever? Victoria will come for revenge as Edward has killed her mate, James.

矣，　有玫瑰花香

2009-06-29T09:12:00.004+08:00

隔壁邻居，太富贵了，养了４　只名犬，　种了红，黄，分红，紫色的玫瑰！　开了太多太多。。。
夜深，　等着我喜爱的香港剧集（大唐双龙传）load 着，突然飘来阵阵玫瑰花香。
扑鼻而来，闻了太久，腻了。
不太清新，闻了闻觉得味道太浓了，不好嗅。
不知道为什么。。。
哈哈。。。。。。。
还是觉得薰衣草比较香，比较清新。。。
玫瑰太浓，太强烈，不喜欢。。。　

魔女

2009-06-28T08:12:00.004+08:00

突然间，在深夜里，想成为魔女的跟随者，想支持她。
其实，魔女她有自己的可悲。很多人，会因为她是魔，不能胜正，所以，看不起她，贬低她，不敢接触她。其实，在她心底，是善良的：）

魔女很迷人，箫声很悦耳。为什么，好人家的女孩吹箫，有人会欣赏？魔女却被人家说她在迷惑男人。

不公品，让我在此投她一票：）
哈哈，花言连篇！！！

我讨厌古堡

2009-06-26T04:02:00.006+08:00

别看我笑得那么的灿烂，　我讨厌古堡，　没有其他的理由，　就仅有讨厌它残酷，无情。
哈，　在还没有踏上爱丁堡古堡之前，　我是个对古堡充满想象的人。　由于，看了一帘幽梦，　内容说着一个邂逅好男人后，豪华奢侈的住进欧洲古堡的女孩。　噢！看完后，我想象的空间更加扩大了。

结果，　踏进了古堡，　我不喜欢，　因为它残酷。
在一帘幽梦里，紫菱对云帆说：你看，古堡被紧封住，里面有小小的窗户，　外面还有河呢！　里面一定有很多刑具，是用刑用的，被打得偏体鳞伤的犯人，　就从窗口，乎。。。的，丢出去了。”
噢，云帆说她想象力太丰富了。

原本，　我和紫菱的想法是完全相反的，　我以为古堡是幸福的人住的。　结果，现在其实不只是想象，　其实紫菱说的是事实。　因为，　古堡里有prison of war, 是当时军人住的。。。没有欢笑，　只有疗伤，　而在英国占领了苏格兰后，　又是建了一个刑房，　是把苏格兰军人给俘辱的地方。

有啊。。有一个宫廷式的地方，　是小王子出世的地方，　应该是幸福的，　但我又错了。　在他出世不久后，　他父亲就在那儿死了，　是战死的。伤兵把他抬回去古堡里，在mageret 王妃的怀里死的。不久，mageret 王妃也随着丈夫的死，而哭死去了。伤心吧。。。

更可怕的是，　原来紫菱说的欧洲老太太的游魂在古堡里走来走去会是真的。。。
我根据实际的证据，怀疑是女巫！
因为，在爱丁堡古城的那个时代，　　king james　自称很会捉女巫的王。结果，好人家的女孩也被他当成女巫，死了，就是欧洲老太太的冤魂。因为那个王太狠了，他要他的手下用三个条件来断定谁是女巫
A：红头发的女人/女孩
B：有三个乳头的女人/女孩---〉因为，第三个乳头是给魔鬼吸的--俗称---devil sucker
C：有某些形状胎记的女孩。

捉了之后，若不承认就会把他们丢在 north lake 里。若女孩/女人能够浮起来，便是巫婆！若女孩/女人沉在水底就是冤枉的。天啊！如果是冤枉的话，她沉了，也就死了。他也不给人家会游泳会浮在水面，而不是巫婆！好了，浮在水面的就会被绑到古堡外面的一个邢台！被鞭子鞭，再用火烤。谁能受得了？哈，死了。。。可怜的女孩，女巫都死了。成为古堡里的冤魂！

还有，　紫菱也说，　法国有个路易十几的女儿。噢，是个漂亮的小公主。　有一天，她遇见了很帅气的铁匠！　她爱上了人家。　她父亲，　那个路易十几就把她关进古堡里。过了几十年，她老了，　他还在河的另一方等着她。噢。。。　小公主很可怜。　又是古堡里的悲剧。

还有还有，古堡里的东南西北都放了大炮，机关。　那无能的王就坐在密室里观看东南西北的状况。若情况不妙，　他就会宣战，过后从地道里逃跑。死的伤的也就只是宾和马匹。又是冤魂一大堆，又是惨死冤死。

所以嘛，古堡并不是可人的，　而是一座让人心寒的古堡！

AlexenderIII's queen, Margaret quote:"castle is a sad and solitary place"

看吧，连王后也不喜欢它！

我家的宠物

2009-06-26T02:36:00.006+08:00

还是很想念它们，虽然它们已不在。。。
希望它们的主人好好的对它们，不要宰了它们。
我爱它们，可是我没尽过主人的责任，
我不能够怪爸爸，把它们都给人，因为，是爸爸妈妈照顾的，我只搂搂抱抱他们，冲凉是妈妈冲的，喂食是爸爸喂的，我只跟它们嬉戏，

从两只丽君给的大白兔，肥婆和lengzai, 到把lengzai 给人，再给肥婆生了一胎，再有了大概六个小孩，那时每一只出生的体重，从第一天到长毛发，到会走路，我都细心的观察，还包了个小红包保佑它们快高长大。当中，令我最印象深刻的是大头，它是当中的大哥哥，可是给了不会养的主人，喂了它吃一肚子的萝卜，死了。谁也没想过兔子小时候是不可以吃萝卜的。其他的，有的被人领养，有的被卖了。最后，剩下阿花，一只跟我很相像的兔子，是个男生，它可爱又没有脾气，可是有点笨笨的，走路很差，常常跌掉，又不会跳，爱它爱到疯了，因为它小时候跌入水沟，差点死了，所以特别的疼爱它。

在阿花成年后，因为贪心,又想玩玩小兔子，让肥婆和它生了十只，那时候，得意了，又是抱它们到学校让朋友玩玩，又是拿去亲戚家让他们瞧瞧。这时，我有一位很漂亮的表姐，她要了很调皮的两只，给了她，跟它说了要喂食，她忙了，忘了。她妈妈可不像我妈妈，那么不忍，那么空闲，帮我照顾小白兔，噢，糟了，一只死了，另一只，只剩下奄奄一息。
我还记得，那时是圣诞节，为什么，我们可以大火鸡，大菜大肉的吃喝，而小白兔在那儿冻死饿死，可怜。妈妈抱回了存活的一只，细心照料，噢，长大了，挑皮了，我们也放心了，但因为还有太多只兔子，所以又把它给了卖菜的。接着的两只（其中一只是啊Y）又给了妈妈的好朋友。我们就打算养啊花和肥婆到他们老。。。死。。。

谁知，妈妈和我不放心啊Y。。。对了，阿Y的由来，哈哈，它是歪头的，出世时，它妈妈，也就是肥婆，她疯了，痛了，就把宝宝们乱踢，踢准的是啊Y, 结果，它歪了头。不过很调皮，很会走路，还会咬人。妈妈的朋友又不知何故不要养它们了。于是，我们便抱回它们。我的YY原本很肥很美丽，谁知回来时，像只小老鼠，不可爱，脏兮兮，妈妈看了也很 “GELI”，又是细心照顾，又变回甜美可人，接着，那个另一只白兔，给人了。最后，因为肥婆和阿花常常搞在一起，肮脏又臭，爸爸也将它们给人，仅剩下阿Y。。。多爱它呀。。巧克力，饼干， MILO，全让它喝呀吃呀！

一天，　爸爸撞下了一只小狗，　是野狗，　现在叫ah sorry, 哈哈。。。因为感到抱歉所取的名字。
妈妈救了它，　养了它。　

一直到最近，　他们是我来伦敦的牺牲品，　因为没人要照顾，　现在，　阿Ｙ和　阿　ｓｏｒｒｙ　没有了，给人了。

想念它们。。。。
希望它们会活得好好的。。。
若是到了天上，也要开心的。。。
谢谢你们给了我美好的时光。。。
尤其是阿花。。。
你是，唯一我在妈妈爸爸去了伦敦时，我照顾你的。。。
阿花，　你是唯一，我考数学时，深知会考不及格，　回家，抱着你哭的。。。
兔兔们，　想你们，狗狗，我也想你。。。

Sailor moon

2009-06-22T06:20:00.003+08:00

Gomen ne sunao ja nakute
Yume-no nakanara ieru
Shikou kairo-wa shouto-sunzen
Ima-sugu aitai-yo
Nakitaku naru-yo-na moonlight
Denwa mo dekinai midnight
Datte junjou doushiyou
Haato-wa mangekyou
Tsuki-no hikari-ni michibikare
Nando-mo meguri-au
Seiza-no matataki kazoe uranau koi-no yukue
Onaji kuni-ni umareta-no
Mirakuru-romansu

Mo-ichi-do futari-de weekend
Kami-sama kanaete happy-end
Genzai-kako-mirai mo
Anata-ni kubittake
Deatta toki-no natsukashii
Manazashi wasurenai
Ikusenman-no hoshi-kara anata-o mitsukerareru
Guuzen mo chansu-ni kaeru ikikata-ga suki-yo

Fushigi-na kiseki kurosushite
Nando-mo meguri-au
Seiza-no matataki kazoe uranau koi-no yukue
Onaji kuni-ni umareta-no
Mirakuru-romansu
Shinjite-iru-no mirakuru-romansu

"Sorry if I'm not gentle"
I can say that in my dreams.
My thoughts are about to short circuit.
I want to see you, now isn't soon enough.
Just about ready to cry, moonlight,
Can't call, midnight.
Because I'm so naive, what can I do?
My heart is a kaleidoscope!
Led by the moonlight,
Often we meet by chance.
The twinkling count of stars foretells love's whereabouts.
Born on the same planet
Miracle romance

May we have together just one more weekend
O God, please grant us a happy end
In the present, past, and future
I'll always be in love with you
When we first met, that dear
Glance you gave me, I won't forget
From out of the millions of stars, I'll find you.
Changing coincidences into chances, I love this way of life!

A mysterious miracle is headed our way.
Often we meet by chance
The twinkling count of stars foretells love's whereabouts.
Born on the same planet,
Miracle romance.

One thing I still believe in, miracle romance

- i wish, i am the little one...sailor chibi moon...

千与千寻

2009-06-22T05:54:00.003+08:00

Itsumo nando demo (always with me)

Created by kurisukuri

English version
it's calling out from deep within the heart
I always want to dream cheerful dreams
sadness can never be counted but
I will be able to see you on the other side
every time people repeat mistakes,
they know the blue of the simply blue sky
it seems as if the road continues endlessly but
these hands can find light
the quiet heart when parting
the ear listens as the body changes to zero
living, mysterious, dying, mysterious
the flower, the wind, the city; they're the same
it's calling out from deep within the heart
let's draw out dreams always, numerous times
instead of stating the number of sadness
sing softly with the same lips
even in the closing memories, there are always
whispers that cannot be forgotten
even on the shattered mirror shards,
a new scenery is reflected
the quiet window on the beginning morning
the body that is changing to zero is being pleased
I won't search beyond the sea from now
the shining thing is always here,
it can be found within myself

Japanese version
yondeiru muneno dokoka okude
itsumo kokoro odoru yume wo mitai
kanashimi wa kazoe kirenai keredo
sono mukoude kitto anataniaeru
kurikaesu ayamachi no sonotabi hito wa
tada aoi sora no aosawo shiru
hateshinaku michiwatsuzuite mieru keredo
kono ryoute wa hikariwo idakeru
sayonara no tokino shizukanamune
zeroni narukaradaga mimiwo sumaseru
ikiteiru fushigi shindeiku fushigi
hana mo kaze mo machi mo minnaonaji
yondeiru muneno dokoka okude
itsumo nando demo yumewo egakou
kanashimi no kazuwo iitsuku suyori
onaji kuchibiru de sotto utaou
tojiteiku omoideno sononakani itsumo
wasuretakunai sasayakiwo kiku
kona gonani kudakareta kagami no uenimo
atarashii keshiki ga utsusareru
hajimari no asa(no) shizukana mado
zeroni narukarada mitasarete yuke
umi no kanatani wa mou sagasanai
kagayaku monowa itsumo kokoni
watashi no nakani mitsukeraretakara

父亲节快乐

2009-06-22T04:46:00.002+08:00

第一次的父亲节，　我不在您身边．
您的生日，我也在新加坡考试．
您老了，　多照顾自己吧．．．

edinburgh, scotland

2009-06-22T01:42:00.006+08:00

This journey started without any guidance and a little bit of confuse. With some down and moody feeling, i had lan everything on my own with my not well spoken english. This was the time to train myself but yet i dun hav any confidence on my own.

Here, i reached the city of edinburgh, waverly edinburgh railway station. I am lost when i was first stepped out from the train (National railway). Nervous atmosphere had surrounded me, i stepped forward and headed to somewhere without any sense of direction. At last, i found an information centre, i have to plan what to do in scotland for the rest of 4 days . Phew... hoping that the information centre can help me alot but they bring me down all the sudden. Sorry, we don't have any 3 days 2 nights trip package to Highland which fulfil ur requirment.(\i need a tour depart on tues, mostly they started on mon) Sad...sob...disappointed... hungry...tired... Almost all the negative feeling have popped out from my soul and spirit. All researches that i have done at home are useless....

Alright, let us just find a place to stay b4 decide wat to do for tmr... Here, i came to an hostel named castle rock... It is a youth hostel. We get a dormitory room with 16 girls inside the room. Yea.. is a great hostel with free coffee and tea. Alright, time to plan what to do tmr... SHOCK... when i look on my watch ... time is 4.15pm...U might ask:" Wat's the prob with the time 4.15pm?"

Ohh... i haven't take bath and haven't eat my lunch and most importantly all the information centre and tour booking will ended their business on 5pm . This means , if i can't rush for the booking b4 5pm..tmr i will be stayed at edinburgh and wasted one day here without any travel to highland. So, wat should i do? I phone bac to my brother with my helpless voice. At last, we find a tour with " Highland Experience Tour". I haven't see properly the iternary for the trip, i just payed with credit card for that. Rushing to pay, i have regret for a while. However, i went for this trip which is sponsered by ----> my dear brother. So, i thk i should accept every offer from him. I not dare to take any decision on it.

P/s: Weakness: i hav to learn...how to make decision on my own....I am alwaz weak in taking decision.

Alright, 2 days at the highland.... fun and relax... only feel a little bit of tireness bcos the journey was too long...

Fun with loch ness, barrack, all the fort... all the glen... all the loch...all the photo taking session.

I get stressed again...bcos i forget to brg camera's battery. Why i alwaz being so forgetful with everythg left in the house? I started to blame my dumb brain...

Back to Edinburgh...Should be quite relaxing and not to worry for the rest of the 2 days.. Who knows, when i first get back to castle rock hostel, " SORRY, there are no rooms provided today... bcos everyone heading to edinburgh to watch OASIS concert....wat the fish!!! this stupid OASIS make me have to sleep on the street for tonight. I walk and walk and find one hostel to another hostel. Who knows: sorry lahhh...today BOHHHH hostel!!!" Hey, me and mommy with our hand full with luggages and full of hungriness. We walk from east end to west end.One more time i have to disturb brother Hong again. I called him with a voice of restless. Pls help me to search online, at the street of edinburgh did it left any hostel rooms? YEA ... is near west end. I found it without any map holded in my hand.Phew...luckily...

Funny thgs happened in front of me again---->"i have found another railway station named HAYMARKET..." WAT????!!!! How come the small town have 2 railway stations? I stared on my train ticket... EHY...mommy we actually should get back to london with the train started from HAYMARKET and not the ordinary edinburgh waverly station. OHH thank god... thank guanyinma... she told us this by giving us a hint with no rooms in the castle rock hostel.

Alright, the room for this WEST END hostel is cheap but we hav a mixed room sleep with guys and ladies. A bit of uncomfortable but i keep comfort myself... juz stay calm for 2 more days will get back to london.

COOL... as for the last day, we get to the castle with a rush timing and so for the museum of scotland... GOD...mommy was scared of we are not on time for the train... She rushing on the street nearly get knocked by a double decker bus... PRAY>..< luckily, nothing happen to her. We reached HAYMARKET at last... but what u thk will happen next is........this stupid scottish say...sorry madam, ur train is at the main station waverlay edinburgh station... wat the fish again... luckily he let us get in the scottish rail for FOC ...another incident happen... the scottish stupid train delayed.... SONG BOH?

BOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we reach at the waverly staiton on 3.50pm, our train is depart on time 4pm... I open my eyes calmly and look at the sign board... alright, i get the platform number 8... run run run run run run run run.... luckily mommy has stamina... we run together and we jump in the train ...juz nice is coach E...i find the seat and we rest for 2 minutes... the train departs...

tireness and restless....Gratefully, we reach london safely...

I never ever forget this edinburgh trip... is a trip which is not as fun as I think...but is a trip that make me grow and learn....^^

文明

2009-06-14T17:40:00.001+08:00

(naked parade) 是文明还是开放？还是人权？

流星花园

2009-06-13T01:51:00.008+08:00

四个版本的流星花园哪个好看呢? 哪个男的比较帅？哪个女的比较美？哪个系列比较精彩？
14 岁时，我爱看台湾版
上几个星期看了韩版
又被友人影响，看了日本版，
最后，我还去爽爽看漫画。

都快21 岁了，我还是抱着少女情怀，总觉得这些应该不会发生在自己身上。但是，还是希望它的发生。

每个女孩，心里应该都会有梦啦。都希望在自己最绝望沮丧的时候，白马王子出现拉了她一把。
在舞会时，是最耀眼的舞者。

发梦吧。。。
发梦吧。。。
乘着这你青春，没有人叫你老处女的时候，去发发梦，想象一下。
至少，你曾经想象过。

冷和热

2009-06-09T20:32:00.006+08:00

哥哥说：我们的夏天就要结束了，温度会降到摄氏15 度，连下雪都会看得到。

爸爸说：我们这里热得很，空气闷热，我就连日把冷气机从房间搬到客厅里。

世界那么大，那么多不一样，不公平的事情发生。

我在一个吃得饱穿得暖的角落；他们在很饿很饥荒的角落。

我在充满艺术气息的角落；他们在一个很晒很热很脏的环境。

我在一个很文明的环境生活；他们在一个动不动就枪毙的国家。

我微笑；他们哭泣。

我幸福；不会珍惜。

我快乐；不会把握。

我会不会因此失去它们？

我想永远停留在这个时刻；

我想永远把握它们。

但是，幸福，不会永远跟着你；

快乐不会永远围绕你。

我究竟希望有一个安稳的生活？

还是充满酸甜苦辣，有挑战性的生活？

这个角落我赢了；那个角落我输了。。。

不要倒下，要勇敢，要撑着。

海

2009-06-03T17:11:00.007+08:00

小时候，老师常要我们写，海边野餐。我们就会想象成波德申海边。原来天外有天，人外有人。什么用沙粒组成的海边；一堆黑漆漆的马来小孩跑来跑去，在那黄黄不透彻的海水里，玩得不亦乐乎，喊叫声和吵闹声也特别的刺耳。光着脚丫，便从沙滩跑上了岸，到了地毯，脚板还是脏脏，随便用手擦擦，又随手拿着三文治，放在口里咬着。有一群穿着深色的TSHIRT 的马来青年，跳入水里，玩得不亦乐乎，但是为什么会有人穿着长长的衣服，跳入水呢？场景是多么的不浪漫，不美丽，碍眼。天气，又是热乎乎的，三十几度，天啊！！！可是，为什么，我们每一次的作文，却是美丽，经过修饰，场景迷人，什么海接着天，天连着海。它们相依相许。啊！

原来，我们的脑袋瓜永远都长存美丽的景色。巴黎岛的海湾，　西方国家美丽的海湾，沙滩旁还会有旋转木马，会有雪糕店，会有海鲜店，会有人弹着吉他，　唱着歌，　在陆地上彩绘，也会有人大方的光着身子洒脱的晒着太阳，大秀身材，　没有什么大不了的。　迎着海风，　我们倒可以嬉戏。小孩喜欢玩泥沙，　喜欢拿着救生圈，　就到海里冲着海浪，也可以牵着父母的手要了一条雪糕，再要棉花糖。　爽吧，美丽吧。偶尔，风还会冷冷的乎乎这我们的脸上，　偶尔，你会感觉到你还在摄氏２４　度以下，凉快凉快，轻松自在。

结论又是什么呢？为什么，我会感觉到自己开始崇洋呢？这是不对的思想。
也许，我在东方国家的压力太大了，　每一天，都对着一群很会中文的中国人，学习成绩顶呱呱，　害得我打击太大，付出的像没付出，努力也像没努力，回到自己的国家，那么的不公平，那么的不上进，又是贪污，又是种族歧视，　就没力。　看到别人的国家，　那么的自由，那么的无拘无束，　就只是生活水准太高。　但是，我很仰慕，羡慕，爱慕，　怎么办呢？

渺茫

2009-05-29T05:04:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHH... 人如刀俎，我为鱼肉。　what to do?
茫茫忙忙芒芒盲盲。
害怕，惊慌，魂不守舍，帮帮忙, 害怕会有用吗？
公主梦会因此被破灭吗？
还有4个小时，死神降临了，会把我从天堂拉回地狱里。我自问已经尽了力。我已经做到我自己的最好。可是，我应该会被打败。哭又哭过了，读又读过了，辅导也去了。阿！四小时后，那个烂鬼成绩会是什么鬼。哪一种鬼？

你有没有信心啊？没有
你有没有努力过？有
旅行，是给我暂别烦恼，
旅行，是给我告别压力。

可是，四小时，就死了。
就死了。
苗苗渺渺妙妙。
盲盲忙忙莽莽。

旅行？

2009-05-25T14:39:00.004+08:00

早晨，什么东方呈现鱼肚白，根本不会出现在这个国度里，5AM就像大马时间10AM， 10PM像大马的6PM，日场夜短，精神分裂，累得不省人事。然而，出去户外的每一层空气，每一棵花草，小黄花，小白花，都是精心细心的种出来的。每一座雄伟的建筑物，住家，门面阁楼的每一个小小的角落，都充满了设计，典雅，古老的味道。我在想：这里的人们是幸福的，他们从小就活在艺术，美丽的环境里。经过了几千年的洗礼，有着好深好深的历史文化，它是属于被重视，被保护的一个国度。都市里，连一个灯柱，一个门锁，都要是复古的。突然，巴士停下，你就在马路的十字路口，看到古堡！

哇！为什么古堡不是建立在深山里，里面一定有美丽的睡美人，为什么会在那繁华的城市里与对面的崭新设计高楼大厦对比！contradiction! 这个奇人景观我还是第一次看见。

接下来就是充满名牌，奢侈的店面，年轻的洋人，男的就呆在酒吧里K酒，女的就努力冲啊冲去血拼！难得，今天是晴天，外头不会太冷，男女就穿的比较暴露，比较清爽！老土的我，却只穿上牛仔裤和T-SHIRT。后悔没穿裙子，因为在这很少阳光的国家里很少机会能够大露美腿！

我想每一次旅行的感觉都会不同吧，与父母就偶尔会无聊，因为每一张照片就只有你在微笑而你父母就努力的拿着相机笑笑的说：“我老了不漂亮，你拍比较美！”拍着拍着我的笑容越来越僵，越来越别扭，就想闹情绪。而与朋友，却一定是开心的，因为照片是抢着拍，你永远都不希望你是那个拿相机的人。而情侣，我想应该是浪漫的，甜丝丝，每一句话都充满了爱慕，喜欢。看看路旁60岁的情侣，男的光头有个啤酒肚，女的丰收温柔。她永远因为他的每一句话，而笑得美丽灿烂，他又因为她的每一个微笑，用尽了脑汁想了另一个温情的笑话。哈！这个景观应该不会在我们那酷热天气，污烟瘴气的天空下出现！

把握它，享受它吧。

-end of 2nd day-

启程Ｄ２００６

2009-05-24T15:33:00.004+08:00

好累人的空中巴士，空气越来越细薄。奇怪的是为什么，这个飞机上的旅程会是全天候的白天，没有了黑夜，怎么睡觉啊？越来越累，头脑越来越紧，好像要爆炸，但是为了目的我忍下来了。由于这次是BUDGET 旅行，坐上了ＡＩＲ　ＡＳＩＡ　Ｘ，　７３７　体积面积都很小。　没有娱乐，只可以边读书，边望向外景，很迷人。不知经过了多少的沙漠，多少的山脉，多少的大海湾，　小海湾，河流，平原，一切一切都是凭着想象，自己去思考，猜测，在仔细的观看，　然后我的脑袋瓜给它一一的拍下来。

是呀，在空中的感觉是自由的，不过这辆太小太不稳定的飞机，在他要降落的时候，由于云层的阻挡，它无法降落，遇上了重重的困难，我耳朵脑袋的压力越来越大，也渐渐受不了，差点儿就哭了出来。　到达了目的，过了关卡，上了一辆巴士。　由于这个便宜机场是在乡间小路，所以，巴士的路线都是优美的，经过一个又一个的花园，小木屋，小菜园，好美好美，可是我只能用脑袋拍下来，来不及抽出我的相机。

终于终于，我到达了我哥哥的家，终于终于，我有机会看到夜晚，头脑好痛好痛，吃完了大嫂精心煮的老姜鸭，炒蛋，炒菜，再洗了一个泡泡澡，　就倒头大睡！

－end first day-　

古老

2009-05-18T01:31:00.009+08:00

为什么在人类发展, 经过几千几百年的洗礼后,一切的一切变得那么的不自然, 那么的虚假, 那么的骄傲, 那么的不真实, 什么人类知识财产...

是古代人厉害,还是现代的人厉害, 还真的搞不清楚. 说艺术,为什么,以前的歌儿那么美丽,那么动听,每一个词汇那么真实那么用心...现在随便周杰伦, hee hee haa haa...麻烦不麻烦,乱搭什么十一月的萧邦, 那是欣赏吗?还是滥用, 扮高贵.

为什么,古代的古堡, 那么雅典, 那么伟大, 古堡里有他的神话, 他的美丽, 每一个火炉, 每一杯小酒,是多么的自然, 多么的不做作. 但为什么现在的我们要浪费几百块, 几千块来享受一个丰盛的晚餐, 多么的奢侈, 多么的骄傲! 原始不好吗?简单不好吗?

寻找着原始，古老。

provence

2009-05-10T12:33:00.001+08:00

provence provence... 普罗旺斯！！！
我来啦！

花言花语

Deutsch

bored!

没有facebook & 没有工作的日子

我的重新出发

Don't assume you understand me well!!!!

Merry Christmas...

五月天的~那一把吉他

看吧，不会珍惜的年轻人！

test, test and TEST! y?

i feel like crying

He replied!!!

人因梦想而长大，谢谢最伟大的她

叶璇

感动的加油

shinny shinny day ^^

You never learn to appreciate when your children beside you

不要诬蔑我

造口业

刺

应该集中精神，专一， 才会成功

感慨的大学生涯

给自己加油

为什么这次的失败是开心的？

火龙果坏了，我的心碎了

mommy and I

Good records

"wondeful" cny's night

Sense of nervous

End of year 2009 review

Theives!!!!

I am tagged 11/10/2009

If i were have a chance to leap my time:)

hi bloggie

I fail again

我都把爱转变成讨厌，厌倦，烦！

我是红叉烧

美丽的星期五

我喜欢有思想的人

Laugh of the Day

Is a dream!

A Good Solo

Target and talent

The abortion of baby

Failure dominating

fafa quote:" I simply love my room"

心境

Wait

Claire de Lune

恶梦

New Moon Review

Twilight 回顾

矣， 有玫瑰花香

魔女

我讨厌古堡

我家的宠物

Sailor moon

千与千寻

父亲节快乐

edinburgh, scotland

文明

流星花园

冷和热

海

渺茫

旅行？

启程Ｄ２００６

古老

provence

应该集中精神，专一，才会成功

矣，　有玫瑰花香