About Music and Life

Perhaps I shouldn't bitch about him as it is more than half a year.

Changing an inspiring yet stressful violin teacher has made me grown up a little and related things to life

A) know your aim and goal where to go to and how to go to, just as if you are playing a song, a music not notes

B) be precise and picky on things, works and subjects, so that it will sound perfect in the end and presentable with loud applause. Do not waste energy on scrambling and producing low quality work.

C) be picture perfect and totally cool and awesome on things which get posted.

D) use more bow, don't be afraid be confidence just like in life, just like the interview

E) relax and find comfortable position so that beautiful sound will be produced. It's like life have to be relax and comfortable to live in, to be happy.

F) imagine the sound, set the tempo , bre confidence and "go"! Dream, plan, and Go!!! Don't be afraid 

G) correct time, meet the correct person, do the correct things 

H) very strict to self, practice and be awesome

I) tell if you love, don't be shy, vibrato if you want, don't be shy!

I love the year of 2016, I have a dream but I put aside, i decided to brush up my low standard skill, I decided to do what I can to improve. I decided to chill a little follow the Moldau, got to the sea. I decided to let go things that I hold on tight to, r/s, friends but decided to do whichever I can be happy on. I live yolo, I learn to love, I open my heart and be ready to meet someone who is better, who care, who I think is compatible to me. Now will let it be as faith, the person who unnamed, unfound, but somewhere there, he's there showing me his hand.

My dream remain as a dream but I work towards it, by not letting go my true heart, the real me and work hard towards my goal. It's there, is has to be there whenever my heart is beating, lung is breathing till the day they stopped and I meet my beloved family again.

Trip to Bintan 080716 100716

13 years and counting, I finally decided a small weekend getaway with her. Things has changed and we have grown up. 

I felt my changes while I am not so humour comparing to when I was younger, I found out there's a gap between me and her. I could not ask things I want to ask because I have fear of I might make her sad :[ and I found out I have tipping toe around my roommate for a number of years until I fear to be myself again. And my dear friend scolded me " Siao ah?! Like that also scared ?" I guess time to change something. 

However, proud to know that my friend is strong enough to hold on the sadness and she's positive enough to pull through this. She doesn't cry but I am not sure whether she has let everything go and how long would she needs for this. I want to be there for her, as I always want to be, as I always missed to be. I regretted to be a prefect because I couldn't spend much time with her. 

Friendship and relationship are usually both fragile comparing to family. The only difference will be when relationship doesn't work anymore, one will come back to friendship. Sometimes, I was mad because one ignore their friends when one is in a relationship. I don't understand why one will just do anything and everything for him/ her but ignoring friends who are loyal and close. I find it very painful to know and I pull through it difficultly throughout a year and finally I let go. I become sterned and no smile, I become ignorant. In the end, I have even believed that trusting a musical instrument by giving it love and care would be more worth than a human. 

During the Bintan trip, she taught me to be positive, to have a 21 days positive thinking challenge, to change the mindset to I am actually good and great and not to be lack of confidence. Singapore has definitely changed me to be scared and nervous as Uni days were too competitive and I get screwed by NUSS saying I need psychiatric treatment because my exam result was not good and get turned away from summer program, residence assistant opportunity Those were the time which I think it was a nightmare. Till now, no confidence at all. 

And I would like to try law of attraction by thinking something good and happy and things will changed. I want to and I have to... To attract or to become a better person, I would have to change to be a better one too. I will strive with her together to pick up myself again and to be a great person from now on :D

Thanks Bintan trip! Jiayou friend 

Love her when she eats a lot