Wait

I am waiting...waiting for stress...waiting to struggle...waiting to run my brain hopelessly.
I have imagined my brain turn into Tauhu this semester...bcos i even outbidded in my bidding.
Why am i always so dumb and being not scared to loose?
Why am i so careless in doing everything...without thinking the worse things would fall on me?
Why am i grab info so slowly when i am having lecture class?
Why am i always study and restudy but almost 50% of the information cannot enter my brain?
What am i waiting for?
I am waiting for the day to graduate...
For almost one year of my experience through my course, i have a very huge feeling of failure.
In my life of almost 20 years, i do not encounter such failure b4.
May be math not suitable for me. Why am i always surviving when in high school even Pre U?
However, when come to uni everything has changed...
The changes is much too fast until i have forgetten what is the feeling of sad, disappointed and finally giving up but not giving in.
I wish to take something which i really like it...which i can take it without stress...
something which i really enjoy and be happy when study although it is tough....
I need to focus and find my talent...it is so unobvious!
where is my talent now?
definitely not the formulae for my applied math now...i think i m in wrong way...not the right way smooth way...i have to die die take it for at least this few yrs...then i will fly for my dream.
I must promise myself...i will find my dream after this rediculous 3 yrs...
I must...
Is a must ....