Sunday, November 9, 2014

惜缘

纵使过了五年,我真问,我真的放下了吗?若我遇见了另一个心仪,我是否会接受?若你有了另一个对象,我是否会带着微笑,祝福你?

感觉上,觉得自己因为独自生活了久,觉得乏了,闷了,而觉得不如我们重归旧好?事实上,若真心的问我自己,我应该仍然放不下。因为隐约间,我仍觉得,有被保护。即使是以行人浩浩荡荡,总觉得你会在我身后,不让我走散,或紧盯我。若有一天我鼓起勇气,你是否会拒绝?若还是不能归好,那我们是否还是朋友? 

我不懂,爱可以有多痛。我不懂,什么是付出,什么是伤害?当初我是因为逃避,烦躁,不成熟,而发脾气。如今当思想放开,总觉得,你有你的好,而没有人是完美的。再也找不到,这一般的熟悉,迁让。

其实你的态度令我毫不犹豫地敬佩,没有埋怨,只有吞声而做。这是我值得学习的地方。身为朋友,觉得你应该休息,放松。若我问自己,我是你女友,是否会无理取闹,发脾气?因为你不陪我,没时间。

我想我现在的工作应该会感受一下你的吃苦埋怨。我想我该感受一下痛苦,而体会下一次的安慰。那一次的残忍拒绝,到底有多伤?是否如今太晚,而你不会再相信我的诚恳。我对自己决绝,如今,觉得快乐应该只有几十年,为何不尝试?

发霉了的猪饼干,感情会发霉吗?发霉是否会中毒?是否该扔掉?


Monday, November 3, 2014

Hello, first day at work

Very weird to work in a big company. No one seems to talk to you, I think they are busy.

No one free to show you around, not even introduce you to your colleagues and you are left on your own to have fun, to explore.

I think the glassdoor is pretty weird, by showing push and pull discretely, the pantry is quite awesome but there's definitely a vending machine which take your money, the toilet is big but smelly.

All these makes my morning anticipate but willing to explore however when my colleagues said last few weeks she brought home some work, I have something in my heart dropped. Erm...challenge eeh? It's what you are coming for, right?

Eh, but ah, I want to practice violin and teach piano. I secretly hope i will have time for all these.

Cheers, I hope i will survived. I think i will survived!