Failure dominating

What will happen when your dream, your hope, your desire burned within a night, however u are unprepared for it. Once upon a time, you dream to become a very good musician and regret to choose something else. Once upon a time, you have owned a pride with an honour of distinction, with respectful eyes of the audience, with a loud applause which rocks the stage. Although is a small stage, you are young and talented. With all those pride, you have grown. You live in a world full of beautiful dreams and your headful of ideas still living back in the past. You have grown, you have grown, grow until the year of 20 or may be 21. You have been choosen the others thg to further study on it, you lost the touch, you lost the feeling but the pride still playing in your head. You still have the dream. One day, you find a place which can let you bring up the pride again, you tried, but you fail. What will be the feeling?

When i love something deeply, i hurt. Just like they are killing my child. At this moment, i really tend to chop my both hands down, cut my brain cells out, dump them away. I lost what i have gained in the past. I realize i am now living in the past but not living in the present. Lost touch lost touch, hurts and hurts, the failure screw into my heart deeply, until the blood flew out, finally its dried. The blood stained on my wound, the scar, the blood scene, cover all over my body. I have wished i could die now,not to delayed but immediately. I have wished i termintate myself from moving on or find a place for myself to shelter. I wanna escape, this phenomena is not suitable for me.

I tried to cope in every single moment. I tried to climb up from every failure. But i tend to fell into the failure easily again. Again and again, until the failure dominating my soul, my heart. Now, is time to give up, give up everythg, giv up every moment, leave the quote "to survive to compete"alone . Let the strong one live, let the weak one die. I am the weak one, i deserve to leave and to die.