The world which no talent left, no target left is sometimes driving me to become crazy. Sometimes when you look at your exam paper, past year paper,tutorial question, assignment question, u can't solve them, you become very frustrated. Not even understand the very original definition. You attended all the lecture, you study all the time, but the talent of understand and interprete the question are gone.
Should i say absence minded in university?
Watching ppls to join SEP...i want to...It's doesn't matter the financial problem not allowing me to...but is my result which was sux in my first year. I don't have the feeling to get an A until now. I duno wat is the feeling of getting an A after every exam, because i never ever experience it b4 since i enter uni. 10 subjects which no As inside but rewarded me 2Ds.
The requirement for exchange student is u muz not get a D in your academic paper. I dunno wat should i do in NUS...I hope to join some activities to activate my thinking brain cells. But i am not working to it too.... The committee, the society , the club dont want me. I have no talent to persue them to let me stay. Or may be i should say, my english delivery speech is POOR? or no confidence on myself? I don't have previous relevant talent to support me enter any club anymore.
I don't know how competitive this NUS will be. Why not the world give me some chances to try the positions, try to success in studies again. I am giving myself chances, but after i fail to much i will feel that i should quit. Why not the world gimme an option, to quit the studies here? I don't know how hard i should stand here to suffer. I don't know. Everytime after i study, they awarded me C or D. I dunno! What's is the feeling of A. I just hope to get into honour year. However, it is something impossible.
Help...helpless...lonely....every negative feeling surrounding me... emo emo...and make me wasted one whole night just to cry. I don't know why i wan to cry. I am not sure about cry can cure the question but i am pretty sure it can ease some of my pain. My tears is no longer precious anymore. It can slides down within one second if i think about the D and the failure.
Stand up fast, and look forward! i told myself. How to stand? I am really not sure where to find the confidence to stand anymore.
hug...love...buck up faster....recover pls...you have no more time left....
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